I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
