Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
