Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
