i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
