Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
