And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
