The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
