I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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