hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
