my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Never joke about your clitoris.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
