I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
