hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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