i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Welp...herpes.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
