I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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