My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
