you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Randomize
