no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
so much tequila, so little girl.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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