I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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