Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
