Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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