Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
