Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
being pregnant is like rehab
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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