weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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