This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
