I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
