So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
