I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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