I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
