So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Randomize
