So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
