You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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