Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
