we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
