I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
