is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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