No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
