What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My life is pants optional.
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