He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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