Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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