everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
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