Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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