Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My liver just broke up with me...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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