The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
