Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
