I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
