I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
