Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
this hospital has no fireball
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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