I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
