They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
