thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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