Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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