so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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